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Lauren
Lauren
Dude, get up, we're gonna be late!
Evelyn
(sleepily) I don't care.
Lauren
Yes, you do! It's the big day and you don't want to be late!
Evelyn
(louder) I. Don't. Care.
Lauren
Sasha! A little help here...?
Sasha
Ev- you know that you want to watch your father marry some boring old hen, then get just drunk enough to make some silly, cheesy, slurred speech, then finally make out with some middle-aged groomsman. So get the fuck up!
Lauren
(sarcastically) Such a way with words, you have...
Evelyn
(laughs) Ok, George Carlin and Yoda, I'm getting up!
<Evelyn drags herself out of bed and eyeballs her dress hanging on the closet door>
Evelyn
Is this really happening?
Sasha
(jumps on Evelyn) Get up, get up, get up!
Evelyn
Ugh, dude, get off me! I'm up! I can't believe I agreed to do this crap!
Lauren
Well, of course you did. You're a sweet, loving daughter who wants to be there to support her father.
Evelyn
A father I barely know...
Lauren
So get to know him! You know it's never too late!
Evelyn
Sasha, please get her away from me before I strangle her! I don't think I can stand your "look-on-the-bright-side, glass-half-full, lemons-to-lemonade bullshit today, Lor.
<Sasha laughs, Laura winces>
Lauren
Hey! Just because I'm a positive, HAPPY, person doesn't mean I'm a target! You need to focus on something good, OK? I know this is hard for you, even though you say it's no big deal.
Sasha
She has a point, E. Let's just do this thing!
Lauren and Sasha rarely agreed on anything, so when they did, Evelyn had to listen. They were right; she needed to get happy. Though it was getting harder and harder to get happy these days. As everyone in their 20s coupled up and started families, Evelyn was left behind. Sure, she dated, but the relationships she had always ended. She kept in touch with a lot of her ex's since the relationships rarely ended badly, but that wasn't the easiest thing to do. Sometimes she wished they had ended badly, so she could harness the often needed anger to get over things faster. Then there were the flings. Guys who just wanted around her because she's cute and fun, but never wanted to commit. She was a willing participant in most of these flings, but wondered what it would be like to be a "girlfriend girl."
However, Evelyn was a "friend girl." Cute, smart, charming, funny, and kind, but with a a wild streak. She could party with the boys, outwit them, compete with them, but she could never get her mind (or heart) around playing the dating game. She wasn't someone who could be pursued. If she likes a guy, he knows it. There's nothing shy or coy about her. She saw girls around her who could give just enough to keep them wanting more, but for better or worse, she never mastered that skill. Nor did she particularly want to. But she figured that's what she would have to go to get a guy. When Lauren liked a guy, he had to figure it out. Evelyn never saw the point in being aloof. Plus, she wasn't any good at it! She tried to for a bit, but gave up. Who wants to play games?" she thought. Apparently, everyone but her.
Evelyn
OK, so, how do I look?
Sasha
You look awesome, dude! Well, as awesome as anyone can look in fuchsia!
Lauren
Now, stop, she looks amazing!
Evelyn
I need to lose weight. My stomach is fucking ridiculous!
Lauren
Shut up, you're perfect!
Evelyn and Sasha
Says the perfect one....
Lauren
PLEASE! I'm SO not perfect! Besides, if you came to yoga with me....
Evelyn
Oh my god dude, stop with the yoga already! (teasing) Not all of us are as bendy as you!
Sasha
Hey, I went and it was cool. A lot of eye candy!
Evelyn
Yeah, exactly! I'm going to be surrounded by yoga goddesses in tight clothes and stand there with my fat ass!? HELL NO!
Lauren
Well, don't complain about it if you're not going to do anything to change it! And Sasha, you can't come anymore if you're just going to ogle my classmates!
Sasha is gay. She came out the year before she and Evelyn met. At first, Sasha thought that she and Evelyn would hook up. But when it became apparent that Evelyn was hopelessly straight, they became great friends instead. Sasha and Laura are not Evelyn's childhood friends. They all met at work when Evelyn moved to San Francisco from Portland for a job. Though Lauren and Sasha clash sometimes, they stick together due to their mutual love of Evelyn (and secretly) each other. Neither of them could understand why Evelyn was single all the time. They adored her! And she them. Evelyn was fiercely loyal to her friends and family. Lauren always just figured that she would meet the perfect guy someday, but that Eve was such a unique person, that the guy would have to be as well. A girl like Evelyn was hard to find, so obviously a guy like her would be hard to find as well. Sasha just thought Eve scared guys away with her "awesomeness."
They constantly joked about Evelyn "switching teams." "You'd be a great boyfriend, E!" Sasha would say. "I know, wish I could just get traded or something!"
Evelyn
Well, this is as good as it gets. "Let's rock this bitch." (quoting the film Mean Girls)
Sasha
Ah, Mean Girls. SUCH a classic.
Lauren
"You can't sit with us!!" (also quoting)
Laughing, they got their purses and bags together, and loaded into the car. Quoting teen movies was a regular occurrence with them. Though Evelyn was a few years older than the girls, they rarely noticed. But on the car ride over, she couldn't help but reminisce. Though she loved Lauren and Sasha, Evelyn missed her two best friends from Portland, Billie and Noelle. She'd been through a lot with them, and longed to be with the ones who know her best on this stressful day. But it wasn't her wedding, so Evelyn couldn't ask them to come down to be with her. Besides, Noelle had her husband and three kids, and Billie had her man. They had lives and she couldn't ask them to drop everything to come deal with her neurosis/drama. The funny thing is that if she'd asked them, they both would have found a way to come.
Snapping herself back to the present, Evelyn looked around at her two "local besties." They looked gorgeous, and she felt lucky to have found two "plus ones" instead of just one. Though she was sure she'd hear about it from her sister, Elizabeth, she didn't care. She needed them with her to get through the day. Just as she was thinking this they pulled up to the venue. Sure enough, there was Elizabeth, with a scowl on her face...
Elizabeth
You were supposed to be here half an hour ago....!
Lauren
I'm sorry, it was my fault! I take forever to get ready!
Sasha
Yeah, so we're here now, and there plenty of time Lizzy
Elizabeth
(annoyed) It's Elizabeth. Evelyn, are you ready? Daddy needs us to help and do you have a speech prepared? You're speaking last-
Sasha
So, you're like, the opening act..?
Evelyn
Yes, Elizabeth, I'm ready. Where do we need to be?
Elizabeth
Over here. We need to hurry.
Elizabeth rushed them through a flower infested foyer through a long mirrored hall to an ornate door. On the other site, the bride, Marianne, and the other ladies were getting ready. The room smelled of hairspray, polish remover, champagne, and an array of various perfumes. Along with the aromas, Evelyn was encompassed in the arms of her sister, Erica.
Erica
Eve! Yay, you're here! Late as usual, but I know you gotta make an entrance.(winks)
Evelyn
Yeah, you know me! How are you? You look amazing!
Erica
I'm goo-
Elizabeth
(interrupting) Speaking of entrances, you're going first, then me then Eri. In age order.
Evelyn
Yeah, I got that-
Elizabeth
And our bouquets should be held slightly below our waists. The stupid florists almost messed them up, but I got them straightened out. And your hair isn't the same as ours, but I guess that should work, and is your dress loose enough? It looks a bit tight, at least your heels are good-
Evelyn
Elizabeth! Chill. I got this. We all got this.
Erica
Yeah, Elz, take a pill. It's all good.
Marianne
Girls, please! I should be the one who's all stressed you girls should be having fun. Shouldn't I need the worried one? I mean, how often go you get to marry the love of your life?
In Marianne's case, the answer to that question is three times. This was her third marriage! She joked, badly, about the first two being "practice." She has an unfortunate son, Marcus, who cringes every time she says it. He is from her first marriage to an awful man she married due to getting pregnant. Then her second was to a total wet rag who did everything she said. And now she was on to Evelyn's father. He was somewhere in between, Evelyn supposed. Marianne wasn't a bad person, she was actually pretty sweet. A bit too sweet for Evelyn's tastes, but still pleasant. Evelyn hadn't spent much time with her, but Elizabeth, who had spent time getting to know her, hated her! Evelyn figured that Elizabeth didn't like Marianne because she took time away from her being with her father. Elizabeth was definitely daddy's girl, and even when her parents split, she spent most of her time with her dad. Erica and Elizabeth's mother, Nadine, was a lovely woman, and was always extremely nice to Evelyn. It may be in part due to the fact that Nadine was the woman Evelyn's father left her mother for, but Evelyn didn't mind. It was reassuring to know that people can recover and move on from their mistakes of the past.
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